It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
