After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
