why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
