So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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