I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
