didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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