I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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