She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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