I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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