A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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