porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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