bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
