Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
