even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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