why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize