where am i from again
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
