the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
