I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
