i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
