So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize