Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
