He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize