i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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