..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
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