You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This is my life. Enjoy the view
so much tequila, so little girl.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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