Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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