Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
