never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
