either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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