we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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