i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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