is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize