i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
