I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
