would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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