just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Everything about him screamed your future.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
