Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
