The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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