babies were throwing up all over the place
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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