Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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