She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
