On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
