i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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