I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
