So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
