Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
