Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
