ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
