Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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