So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
