Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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