Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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