she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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