Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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