If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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