I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
