I'm eating all of the evidence.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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