so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
