I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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