I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize