wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
