we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
