so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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