my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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