It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
