Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Randomize
