Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
How's work?
Spinning.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
