Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
