But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
