Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
